Finding Confidence

Hey guys, long time no see! I wish I could write a lot more here but unfortunately, life gets in the way a lot. Now that I’m in my offseason I’m going to make an effort to write a little more.

I saw a tweet a few days ago made by a college softball coach that really got me thinking.

It said:

“Why is a girl will work her a** off all week on all aspects of her game and get to game day and question her ability to play. Whereas a guy will do nothing all week and rock up on game day and think he is the second coming of Babe Ruth?

After reading the tweet it got me thinking, why is this the case?

As much as I hate to admit it, men have more confidence than women usually. I can’t tell you how many boys in high school told me that they were better ballplayers than me even though I was committed to a D1 college, and they were on the JV baseball team. 

If there’s one thing men have, it's the audacity.

But you know what, good for them.

How is it that men have this natural confidence that most women just do not have? I know for me personally, it took a long time to become a confident person. It sounds awful, but a big reason why I became a more confident woman was through success and results, rather than just being me. 

When I first became a college athlete I was absolutely terrified, I felt like I simply did not belong. I chose not to play softball at my high school so I could continue to play travel soccer, which meant I didn’t have any high school records or accolades that my college teammates had. It made me feel like I had to prove myself 1000x more than everyone else.

Why is it that a man in this same situation would probably feel entitled to play in college and know he belongs?

I believe it has to do with something bigger than sports. Women have pretty much been told their entire lives that being confident, can turn into being cocky, which turns into being a b****. Whereas men have been able to be cocky with no consequences.

Women are taught to be selfless and humble servants in order to be good mothers one day. While men are taught to be strong and independent. This cycle starts at a really young age. When little boys are being rude or loud we say “boys will be boys” but when a little girl does these same things we hold them to the highest of standards. This criticism that young girls experience leads to a decrease in confidence.

It’s a well-known thing that people play better in their sport when they feel better about themselves. This means that having confidence in yourself is a big thing. Most women athletes obtain confidence through repeated successful results, but what if we just decided to have a natural confidence? There’s no reason that we shouldn’t believe that we’re the best, right? If women decide to be confident with no validation, think of how much more we could accomplish. 

As I mentioned before, at the beginning of my college career I struggled a lot with confidence. After talking with some teammates though, I realized that I needed to rethink the way I played and carried myself in order to feel more comfortable and confident on the field. Here’s a few things that helped me

• PODCASTS. I can not emphasize how much I love podcasts. I’m on the road a lot with softball and it’s a great time for me to listen to podcasts about something I’m struggling with. You can find a podcast on just about anything but there are a ton out there that can help build your confidence. It may sound random, but Emma Chamberlain has some great podcasts on how she built her confidence over the years that I love to listen to.

• Another thing that helped me a lot was surrounding myself with people that believed in me. Life can be hard sometimes, straight up. Having people around you that hype you up and pick you up at your lowest can totally change your mindset. 

• Having confident people to look up to is also a great thing. I’m really lucky and am surrounded by absolute girl bosses everyday with my teammates and coaches. I highly encourage you to find confident people to see how they walk in the world.

• Changing my mindset was probably one of my biggest things though. You can listen to as many podcasts as you want and have a lot of great friends, but until you change your mindset, you won’t change. We have a choice to be confident, it’s simply that easy. You might have people tell you that you can not change or that it’s not that easy, but they’re wrong. Once I made the intentional choice to be confident, my whole outlook on life changed.

This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with confidence today, because I definitely do. You’re simply not human if you don’t. For me though, I now have the tools to change my mindset when I start to not feel confident.

Women have felt like they have to earn their confidence, but what if we turned the tables and start out by being confident? If a man can do it, why not a woman.

Hey guys!!! Thank you so much for checking out my blog!!! My name is Cora Bassett and I am currently a softball player at Indiana University. I made this blog mostly to talk about things that women in sports struggle with, but everyone should read it to become educated!! Thank you so much again and have an awesome day!🤠🤠🤠